Eight Things My Mother Taught Me About Socks



by Rachel Arik

  1. Always wash socks together so both white socks can absorb the same amount of the bright red dye running off your sister's brand new t-shirt. (Unfortunately, usually one sock still ends up turning pink while the other remains a bleachy-clean white.)

  2. If you put two socks into the laundry and only one came out: the washer ate it.

  3. If you took two socks out of the washer and only one came out of the

    dryer: the dryer ate it. (Basically, both the washer and the dryer are bottomless pits, full of socks.)

  4. If a sock needs to be darned, you either need a new pair or the dryer ate it.

  5. Always buy more than one of the same pair of socks, that way, when the washer eats one from one pair and the dryer one from the other, you've still got a whole pair left.

  6. A sock-sack is a place where pairless socks can wait until everyone has outgrown them anyway.

  7. Socks can be made into hand-puppets, but never will be.

  8. Would you mind just wearing sandals???